Not What We Expected

I usually love the last day of the year - it's enjoyable to look back and reflect on what's happened over the last 365 days and anticipate what the New Year might bring.  But this year is different for me.  My heart is heavy and weighed down by still not knowing about our kids.

This past week there have been rumors going around about Ethiopia closing adoptions.  Although after a couple of days and clarification, it seems like that's not the case for the immediate future, it still brings such uncertainty to the entire process.  As you can imagine, hearing things like this is devastating - waiting all this time to grow our family through adoption only to find out that it could possibly be over at any minute.  It was an extremely unsettling, nerve wracking, anxiety-filled few days.  (And I thought waiting for a referral was difficult.  Waiting to find out if a referral might even happen is 50 times worse.)

Additionally, as I've said before, we never dreamed it would take this long.  It's been a painful journey of trying to be patient and wait for God's timing, when we've felt ready for 1 1/2 years now.  Originally, we hoped to be home with our kids by now or packing for our second trip to bring them home.  Being at the end of 2013 and still waiting was not what we anticipated. 

We do have a lot to be thankful for . . . and I'm not forgetting all those things.  I am truly grateful for a multitude of God's blessings in our lives.   I just feel like my heart is so overwhelmingly weary and aching to know our children.

Please continue to pray for all those children who need families and for us as we continue to wait for ours.  

A New Take on Garland

I wanted to share a wonderful idea we found on Pinterest. . . at least I think it was Pinterest.  I remember mentioning it to our kids sometime in November as an idea and then totally forgot about it.  However, after the first of December, KJ remembered, got out some paper and began making our first prayer garland.

In previous years, we've made a paper garland and taken off a piece each day to count down to Christmas.  With this new twist, you simply write a person or family's name on each ring.   So when you take a paper ring off each day of December, you're counting down to Christmas and praying specifically for someone else.  It's been an awesome way to pray for our family, friends, missionaries, and sponsored kids.

Our future family members, prayed for daily, but still included on our garland, "The littles":

December Adoption Update

"Any updates?"
"What's the latest?"
"Any new news?"

These are the questions I am most often asked these days.  As the wait continues, I'm asked almost daily if we have anything positive to share.  Unfortunately, the answer continues to be 'no'.  (Thank you for continuing to ask, though!)

I had a birthday wish in September.  (It didn't come true.)  I had a Halloween wish in October.  (Again, nothing.)  So the month of Thanksgiving has come and gone . . . another wish past and unfulfilled.  So. . . I think it is obvious that I am hoping, praying and sincerely wishing for only one special gift this Christmas. :)

As the months go on, the wait continues to become harder.  I think I've said before - if only I had an end date, I could handle it much better.  But living in this unknown time continuum is traumatizing to my emotions.   Back in May, I was thrilled when we got into the top ten on the wait list. . . however, I never dreamed we would be in the top ten for over seven months.  As you can imagine, thinking we may be 'close' for months and months with nothing happening is a frustrating experience.   I want to be hopeful and excited that it will happen, but it's challenging to feel optimistic when the end is indefinite.

I still believe God has a plan and HIS timing is perfect.    I just truly don't understand it at this moment and am ready to see His timing fulfilled.  :)

If you'd like to pray:  Please pray specifically for paperwork!!  There are so many children waiting in the orphanages for a forever family, but the paperwork process slows it all down.  Please pray that the  right paperwork gets processed ASAP for the children God has for our family.

Also, please pray for our kids.  We don't know how old they are or where they are exactly,  but please pray for their well-being, health and that they are loved and comforted in the orphanage.

Finally, we would love for you to pray for peace for us.  As I said above, this process is not for the faint of heart and we long for God's peace as we continue to wait.

In other news, my sweet husband surprised me with an anniversary vacation to celebrate 15 years of marriage!   Anticipating a vacation will definitely help distract me from the waiting and I'm looking forward to some time for just the two of us.

Here's a random quick photo of a cozy morning of math at our house.  (She's wrapped in her favorite fleece blanket in case you're wondering what on earth she's wearing. :)  )  I'm always thankful for our mornings together.