Not What We Expected

I usually love the last day of the year - it's enjoyable to look back and reflect on what's happened over the last 365 days and anticipate what the New Year might bring.  But this year is different for me.  My heart is heavy and weighed down by still not knowing about our kids.

This past week there have been rumors going around about Ethiopia closing adoptions.  Although after a couple of days and clarification, it seems like that's not the case for the immediate future, it still brings such uncertainty to the entire process.  As you can imagine, hearing things like this is devastating - waiting all this time to grow our family through adoption only to find out that it could possibly be over at any minute.  It was an extremely unsettling, nerve wracking, anxiety-filled few days.  (And I thought waiting for a referral was difficult.  Waiting to find out if a referral might even happen is 50 times worse.)

Additionally, as I've said before, we never dreamed it would take this long.  It's been a painful journey of trying to be patient and wait for God's timing, when we've felt ready for 1 1/2 years now.  Originally, we hoped to be home with our kids by now or packing for our second trip to bring them home.  Being at the end of 2013 and still waiting was not what we anticipated. 

We do have a lot to be thankful for . . . and I'm not forgetting all those things.  I am truly grateful for a multitude of God's blessings in our lives.   I just feel like my heart is so overwhelmingly weary and aching to know our children.

Please continue to pray for all those children who need families and for us as we continue to wait for ours.