FINALLY!!!! And the Next Steps

Our hearts were OVERJOYED on Friday to find out we got the Regional Head signature we have been waiting for!!  I don't know what she heard or saw that was different from the last 10 months but I am so happy we are finally past this step.  Believe it or not, receiving this news was almost as wonderful as when we got our referral call.  Our hearts have been longing to meet our kids and it feels amazing to move forward again.

Here are the next steps:

- Monday (tomorrow) we are submitted to court.  Then, three things need to happen.

1.  There is a First Court Hearing where birth parent/abandonment documents are approved at the federal level.  We do not attend this court date.  It should be scheduled sometime within one month of being submitted.

2.  MOWCYA's Letter of Consent  The Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs reviews the documentation on our children and they give a letter of consent to the courts.  This is supposed to occur by the time of the First Court Hearing.

3.  Second Court Hearing - This is where WE appear before court, testify that we have met our children and want to proceed with the adoption.  After this court hearing, they are legally our children!!  This is supposed to happen 2-3 weeks after the First Court Hearing.

All this being said, we are hoping and praying that we are able to travel sometime in January.  If things go smoothly, early January. . . if not, late January.  After having  hit so many detours along the way, I'm bracing myself for delays - but still am so thrilled that we feel like we are moving again.

Please pray that the process is speedy and smooth for us.  Even though that hasn't been the norm, I'm praying boldly to make up for all the lost time.  :)

Also, please continue to pray for our kids.  They were moved to a different orphanage last week Wednesday.  We are hoping that they find comfort in the friends who moved with them and that they are well loved and cared for by the new nannies.  My heart just aches for them, imagining how scared they must be in this transition.

Our family so appreciates all the prayers and support from all our family and friends.  This adoption journey has looked NOTHING like what we anticipated.  However, we have felt so much love and encouragement from those around us.  Thank you.

A Day of Waiting. . .

We heard some REALLY good news on Friday!  Thankfully, our paperwork made it to the regional office and the Regional Head asked her assistant to type up the approval. . . and she said she would sign it this week!  We are hoping she will sign it today so we can then be submitted to court this week.

This news was so encouraging to us, but we will feel 100% excited once we hear she has actually signed it.  After so many months of waiting for this one thing, we are eagerly waiting for it to be done.

We also were blessed on Friday to get a couple more photos of the kids.  It is so precious to see their faces again!  Words cannot describe how anxious we are to be able to wrap our arms around both of them!

Hoping to have a positive update SOON.

A Praise!

Oh my word, since there have been so many detours on this journey, once something positive happens, there is MAJOR REJOICING in our home!!!

We received an email this morning that our I-604 investigation has been completed.  This is the process that is required and implemented by the US government.  Our paperwork has been forwarded from the US Embassy in Addis back to the USCIS office in the United States (where the process began).  At this point, we will now be waiting for our PAIR letter to arrive in the mail.  This feels like a huge hurdle we finally overcame so we are thrilled to feel like we are moving forward again.  (To my neighbors - yes - you will be seeing me stalk the mailman until this document is in my hands.)

Additionally, as I've mentioned several times, on the Ethiopian side of the process, we have been waiting for a Regional Head/Director to sign a document.  It has been difficult to figure out whey she wasn't signing, what she was looking for, when she would sign, IF she would sign... you get the picture.  However, just last week we received an outline of three things she has requested in order to sign our paperwork.  We are ecstatic that there is a plan in place and the potential to move forward in this regard.

As will all things adoption related, it's difficult, if not impossible, to guess a time frame for this to happen.  The courts are closed now in Ethiopia, but these three requirements and her signing can all still happen during the closure.  Our hope and prayer is that these things will be accomplished within a couple of weeks, but realistically, we know it could take longer.  As soon as she signs, a court date will be scheduled for sometime after the courts re-open around October 15. (That first one we do not attend).  After the first court date occurs, then OUR court date where we DO attend is scheduled and we will book our flights to Ethiopia.

BE STILL MY HEART.

Please continue to pray for those little hearts over there.  Also, now that we have a specific understanding of what needs to happen, please pray that it happens SOON!!!

August Update

This is the time of August that we were dreaming we would be taking our first trip to Ethiopia to meet our kids.  The courts are closing any day now, which means that there is no way for us to travel until it re-opens sometime in October.  Even if they stayed open, though, we wouldn't be able to travel because of a stall on both the US Embassy side and Ethiopia side.

On the US side, we are required to go through something called the PAIR process.  I'm sure I've mentioned it several times before.  It's basically the US government evaluating all the paperwork, conducting an interview of either a birth parent or the person who found an orphaned child, and granting a PAIR letter to move forward with the adoption.  Since this process is new as of September, many people have experienced bumps along the way with average time frame of 4-5 months to be completed.  We have experienced 10 foot deep potholes and mountains trying to get through this.  It seems like if something could go wrong, it does.

For example, when our paperwork was supposedly ready to be sent from the US office to the Embassy in Ethiopia (they scan it in the computer, so it's fairly quick), I was told it was being sent on a Thursday.  Come to find out, the employee who told me that left the office permanently on the following day and left our paperwork in a pile, waiting for the  next person.  It sat there for almost two weeks before we figured out where it was.  Then, once we found it and had a new officer assigned, she informed us that we were missing a document.  The previous employee had made a mistake.  So, for a simple task of our paperwork being sent to the Embassy, (15 minute job) it took almost three weeks.

We are almost to six months now, with no PAIR letter, and waiting for an interview to be scheduled.

Things like this have continued to happen over and over again and it's almost driving me crazy.

On the Ethiopian side, apparently our agency is having to re-do most of our paper work in order to have it meet a certain requirement for the Regional Head.  She still refuses to sign for our kids, even though we really do have everything thoroughly documented and turned in.  This KILLS me. Our kids have been in an orphanage for over a year of their life now and will continue to be probably for a total of at least 18 months, because of one signature.

One signature.  It's ridiculous.

At this point, we have no idea of when PAIR will be completed.  We have no idea of when the documents will be updated and ready and we have no idea of when/if this regional head will ever actually sign the paperwork for our kids.  There is an overwhelming uncertainty as we think about, pray for, and love two little faces across the world.

As I've said probably in every other post, the only thing that encourages us and keeps us hopeful is our trust in God.  We know he has a plan for our family.  It makes ZERO sense to us, but we know he is faithful and we believe he comforts the hearts of our kids in Ethiopia.  

We would appreciate prayers and we continue this process.  We've given up praying on specifics because specifically, almost every aspect needs prayer.  At this point, we are just praying for a miracle.

Not What We Expected

I usually love the last day of the year - it's enjoyable to look back and reflect on what's happened over the last 365 days and anticipate what the New Year might bring.  But this year is different for me.  My heart is heavy and weighed down by still not knowing about our kids.

This past week there have been rumors going around about Ethiopia closing adoptions.  Although after a couple of days and clarification, it seems like that's not the case for the immediate future, it still brings such uncertainty to the entire process.  As you can imagine, hearing things like this is devastating - waiting all this time to grow our family through adoption only to find out that it could possibly be over at any minute.  It was an extremely unsettling, nerve wracking, anxiety-filled few days.  (And I thought waiting for a referral was difficult.  Waiting to find out if a referral might even happen is 50 times worse.)

Additionally, as I've said before, we never dreamed it would take this long.  It's been a painful journey of trying to be patient and wait for God's timing, when we've felt ready for 1 1/2 years now.  Originally, we hoped to be home with our kids by now or packing for our second trip to bring them home.  Being at the end of 2013 and still waiting was not what we anticipated. 

We do have a lot to be thankful for . . . and I'm not forgetting all those things.  I am truly grateful for a multitude of God's blessings in our lives.   I just feel like my heart is so overwhelmingly weary and aching to know our children.

Please continue to pray for all those children who need families and for us as we continue to wait for ours.  

In The Waiting

We are now number 3 on our waiting list.  Yahooo for moving up one spot!!!  At this point, to be honest though, the list doesn't matter to me anymore.  We have been on it longer than I had anticipated  and I am now just anxiously awaiting the phone call that will change our lives forever!

We pray everyday for our new family members and people ask me daily if there is any new 'news'.  There is no news but I will tell you what. . . God has been teaching me MANY lessons throughout this process and our family has seriously been blessed by others:  Friends have given me cards of encouragement, texts, emails and Facebook posts that they are praying for us.  One of my besties put together a prayer calendar for October where she recruited a handful of our local friends to pray for us every day in October.  (So I had a calendar that listed who was praying for us each and every day..... is that not amazing!?)  Friends and family members have sent me Scripture, quotes and devotionals with uplifting words.  Over time, our hearts and the hearts of our family and friends have grown tender towards these children we still don't know.

The most recent (blessing) came earlier this week from our aunt (technically Ryan's aunt but she's been my aunt now for 15 years too :) ).  It's from the online devotional "Shereadstruth".  (Please click here to read the entire post - it's encouraging, especially if you are in a season of waiting).

"The waiting isn't the hardest part, it's the growing part.  And the Gardener can't be rushed in this season.  He won't be rushed in this season. . . While we are waiting, we are changing - He's changing us in the waiting."

Everything within me screams, "I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE!!"  I'm tired of waiting.  My heart and mind are weary from waiting.   It's difficult to anticipate something so huge and life changing that doesn't have an end date.  Every day goes by and we yearn to learn about these little people who will be grafted into our family. . . our future children.

However, I know God has a greater plan.  I for sure don't understand all of it, but I believe and trust Him that He knows what He's doing.  This waiting has forced me to lean into Him in new ways and depend on him in my moments of weakness.  It has been a messy journey - just ask all of my friends and family who have been so patient with me as I fail regularly. . . sometimes daily, at trusting in His plan.

I want to know.
I don't want to wait.
I complain.
I cry out, "When?!"

Thankfully, even through my consistent human failings and weakness, I'm astounded by His love, patience and gentle teaching and leading me - guiding me in new ways to depend on Him and trust Him in all things.  As I seek Him more, His presence and love for me has become more tangible.  

I'm not saying I want to continue to wait (a phone call would be super awesome, any day :) ) but I have realized that if we hadn't journeyed through these months of waiting, I would not have experienced all the blessings of encouragement, support and love from so many people.

For this, I am so grateful.

"Come near to God and he will come near to you."  James 4:8

Simple Amharic

I decided to order a book and CD called Simple Amharic Language for Adoptive Families by Amy Kendall.  It contains hundreds of helpful phrases and words to learn such as "This is your brother", "snack" and "Let's get dressed".

Eager to learn the language of their new (future) siblings, my kids ripped open the package, played the CD and flipped through the book.   What is the natural, first thing that my little darlings chose to memorize?  It's pronounced, LIB-seh lie ah-tish-NAH.

Translated:

"Please don't go potty in your pants."

Hilarious.

(at least it was to a 9 and 11 year old)  :)

June Update (a little late)

As we have moved forward into the heat of summer, our number on the waiting list has stayed the same.  It's a double edged sword, I've learned, as you get near the top: on the positive side, we are in single digits in the top 10.  Since we began at #27 eleven months ago, we have made some progress and #8 feels encouraging.  On the downside though, a month (or a few) can go by with no movement and people waiting for just one child can get referred AFTER us....while we stay at the same number.  (Because we are waiting for two children, our wait has been longer than others.)

I had a friend from church last week, baby son in her arms, stop me to ask if I would photograph her son.  As we were chatting, she said she remembered when she and her husband first announced she was pregnant, Ryan and I also announced we were adopting.

And there she stood, cuddling her adorable, 7 MONTH OLD baby.

And there I stood.  

No little one in my arms.  

No toddler tugging on my dress or crawling around my feet.

She was very empathetic as she talked with me about the difficulty of waiting so long for something.  The reason it is so difficult is because its such an unknown time frame.  Our agency does its best to give us estimates of how long the process takes, but not having an actual end date has been tough.

There is no due date.  

There is no inducing two weeks-later plan either.

It's totally unknown.  

Ever since we began praying about adopting, our hearts have grown to love these family members we don't yet know.  As we prepare our older two for the changes, we discuss and imagine what life will be like everyday with 'the littles'.  Who will take them in the hall if they are crying during church?  Where will they sit at the dinner table?  Who will sit next to whom in the car?  We basically think about them being with us and anticipate their arrival into our family every day.  

Every. Single. Day.

So as you can imagine, praying, dreaming, and longing for these little people and not knowing when they are coming is difficult!!

So as I wait for the God's perfect timing, I am brought to my knees for several requests:

- that God works in my heart to wait patiently and with a grateful heart.  It's easy to feel discouraged, focusing on what we don't yet know.  I want to keep my mind on all of the blessings - they are numerous!!

- that He has a hand of comfort on our little ones.  My heart already breaks for the pain and loss they are experiencing.

- that God gives our family of four precious moments together before we become a family of six

Thanks for listening and thank you even more for praying for our family!

Already a Blessing

Last month while in one of our local public schools taking photos, I met a man who had adopted his oldest daughter from China several years ago.   My friend who introduced me to this man, explained that I was in the adoption process.  He asked a few questions and commented, "You will be so blessed....adoption is such a blessing."

What struck me about his comment that even though we haven't brought our children home yet, I already feel like we've been tremendously blessed.  As God called our hearts toward adoption, He has drawn us nearer to Him.  As we questioned and wondered about this major change for our family, God challenged us in ways where we learned to solely rely on Him.  We know He alone is in control of our future and we trust Him as we move forward.  As we wait, we trust in Him that His timing is perfect.

Another blessing has been seeing God work in the hearts of our kids.  I have written previously of what KJ wrote in church two days after we mentioned that we were considering adoption.  Several weeks later, my heart almost burst when I found her attempting to translate English into Amharic of how she could tell her future siblings 'I love you'.  

And as we pray for these future siblings every day and night, our kids' view of the world has expanded.  They've truly come to understand that there are kids around the world who don't have enough food...who don't have a warm home...who don't have parents to love and care for them.  My heart was again full to the brim last night when I tucked J into bed and he prayed with gratitude, "God, thank you for letting me have a mom and a dad..."

Finally, during Christmas break, a friend, who I don't see that often, randomly stopped by our home. Her family was enjoying an evening drive looking at Christmas lights  and were in the neighborhood. She didn't stay long - just dropped off a card and gift bag.

I opened the card to find this on the front:

And this written on the back:

"Ryan and Kamarah,

This summer we started stashing loose change in a jar - we had been studying James and thought it would be good to put action w/our words. . . we were wondering who that orphan or widow would be??  We know every little bit helps and hope you can put what's in this jar to good use!  Praying for you all on your adoption journey!"

I then opened the gift bag and found this:

Not only was I moved by their sacrifice of saving all their spare change for an orphan they didn't know, but I was also humbled that the Lord had them praying for our family since this past summer.

In case you aren't familiar with the verse in James (1:27) she was referring to, here it is:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Beyond grateful for the Lord's blessings. . .

Our First Ethiopian Feast

We decided Christmas break was a fabulous time to have our first adventure in Ethiopian food!!  So we ventured out in the blistering cold last night to a local restaurant, Little Africa.  

We discussed with the kids beforehand that this was going to be all totally unfamiliar, very different tasting food and we were so proud of them for their willingness to try everything!

The mango juice was definitely a favorite:

  The guava juice was also a hit:

And the tea was knock-it-out-of-the-park AMAZING!!!

We didn't try coffee this time around, but loving coffee like I do, I still thought a random photo was necessary. :)

The giant plate of food that we shared!

There are no utensils used.  In Ethiopian meals, the injera bread, a large, sourdough flat bread, is used to scoop up all the different stews and dishes.  We ate a combination platter, a sample of everything which was quite the feast!!  We found that some dishes were way to spicy for us (and especially the kids) but others were so unique and flavorful!!  Now that we've tried everything, we'll probably stick to the more mild dishes.  We look forward to going with family and friends!

November Update!!

Last Thursday was the beginning of a new month which means I was checking my email every 10 minutes to receive the update from our agency of our placement on the waiting list.  :)

We truly believe that God is in control and He knows the timing and placement of our future child(ren), but I'm telling you...knowing where you are on the waiting list is something I think most waiting parents become obsessed with!!  It's the only connection you have of how long until you know something about your future kids!!

All that to say, we did receive an update Thursday and it looks like we are now #22.  It's not moving as fast as we'd like, of course, but again....not our timing....but HIS.  We also know the time it takes to move through an international adoption is long because of the paperwork and precautions taken to insure the best interest of the children.  We wouldn't want it any other way.

To keep ourselves busy, we decided to get passports for J and KJ!!  We are still not positive if they will be joining us for our first trip, but just in case, we want to be ready.  :)

What Our Kids Thought

Once Ryan and I felt like it was time to throw out this adoption idea to our 7 and 9 year old kids, we wrestled with how to do it.  We decided the best approach was to tell them it was something we were 'thinking and praying about' and see what they thought.

We couldn't have anticipated their reactions!!!  They were both so excited and embraced the idea of having siblings and in their words, "being able to help someone who needs help".

We told them on a Friday and all weekend answered questions they had and tried to talk to them about all the changes that would take place if we did eventually adopt.

On Sunday, during the service, KJ was busy sitting next next me drawing something and hiding it so I couldn't see it until it was completed.  Once she had finished, she nudged me with a big smile and showed me this simple drawing.

She drew Ethiopia, with a building titled "orphanage" (her spelling is a little off :) ).  From within the building are the quotes, "Please do it, please! They both said".  She told me those are our kids in Ethiopia telling us to adopt them.   We thought it was so sweet that she was imagining what 'our kids' in Ethiopia were thinking!!