FINALLY!!!! And the Next Steps

Our hearts were OVERJOYED on Friday to find out we got the Regional Head signature we have been waiting for!!  I don't know what she heard or saw that was different from the last 10 months but I am so happy we are finally past this step.  Believe it or not, receiving this news was almost as wonderful as when we got our referral call.  Our hearts have been longing to meet our kids and it feels amazing to move forward again.

Here are the next steps:

- Monday (tomorrow) we are submitted to court.  Then, three things need to happen.

1.  There is a First Court Hearing where birth parent/abandonment documents are approved at the federal level.  We do not attend this court date.  It should be scheduled sometime within one month of being submitted.

2.  MOWCYA's Letter of Consent  The Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs reviews the documentation on our children and they give a letter of consent to the courts.  This is supposed to occur by the time of the First Court Hearing.

3.  Second Court Hearing - This is where WE appear before court, testify that we have met our children and want to proceed with the adoption.  After this court hearing, they are legally our children!!  This is supposed to happen 2-3 weeks after the First Court Hearing.

All this being said, we are hoping and praying that we are able to travel sometime in January.  If things go smoothly, early January. . . if not, late January.  After having  hit so many detours along the way, I'm bracing myself for delays - but still am so thrilled that we feel like we are moving again.

Please pray that the process is speedy and smooth for us.  Even though that hasn't been the norm, I'm praying boldly to make up for all the lost time.  :)

Also, please continue to pray for our kids.  They were moved to a different orphanage last week Wednesday.  We are hoping that they find comfort in the friends who moved with them and that they are well loved and cared for by the new nannies.  My heart just aches for them, imagining how scared they must be in this transition.

Our family so appreciates all the prayers and support from all our family and friends.  This adoption journey has looked NOTHING like what we anticipated.  However, we have felt so much love and encouragement from those around us.  Thank you.

A Day of Waiting. . .

We heard some REALLY good news on Friday!  Thankfully, our paperwork made it to the regional office and the Regional Head asked her assistant to type up the approval. . . and she said she would sign it this week!  We are hoping she will sign it today so we can then be submitted to court this week.

This news was so encouraging to us, but we will feel 100% excited once we hear she has actually signed it.  After so many months of waiting for this one thing, we are eagerly waiting for it to be done.

We also were blessed on Friday to get a couple more photos of the kids.  It is so precious to see their faces again!  Words cannot describe how anxious we are to be able to wrap our arms around both of them!

Hoping to have a positive update SOON.

A Praise!

Oh my word, since there have been so many detours on this journey, once something positive happens, there is MAJOR REJOICING in our home!!!

We received an email this morning that our I-604 investigation has been completed.  This is the process that is required and implemented by the US government.  Our paperwork has been forwarded from the US Embassy in Addis back to the USCIS office in the United States (where the process began).  At this point, we will now be waiting for our PAIR letter to arrive in the mail.  This feels like a huge hurdle we finally overcame so we are thrilled to feel like we are moving forward again.  (To my neighbors - yes - you will be seeing me stalk the mailman until this document is in my hands.)

Additionally, as I've mentioned several times, on the Ethiopian side of the process, we have been waiting for a Regional Head/Director to sign a document.  It has been difficult to figure out whey she wasn't signing, what she was looking for, when she would sign, IF she would sign... you get the picture.  However, just last week we received an outline of three things she has requested in order to sign our paperwork.  We are ecstatic that there is a plan in place and the potential to move forward in this regard.

As will all things adoption related, it's difficult, if not impossible, to guess a time frame for this to happen.  The courts are closed now in Ethiopia, but these three requirements and her signing can all still happen during the closure.  Our hope and prayer is that these things will be accomplished within a couple of weeks, but realistically, we know it could take longer.  As soon as she signs, a court date will be scheduled for sometime after the courts re-open around October 15. (That first one we do not attend).  After the first court date occurs, then OUR court date where we DO attend is scheduled and we will book our flights to Ethiopia.

BE STILL MY HEART.

Please continue to pray for those little hearts over there.  Also, now that we have a specific understanding of what needs to happen, please pray that it happens SOON!!!

August Update

This is the time of August that we were dreaming we would be taking our first trip to Ethiopia to meet our kids.  The courts are closing any day now, which means that there is no way for us to travel until it re-opens sometime in October.  Even if they stayed open, though, we wouldn't be able to travel because of a stall on both the US Embassy side and Ethiopia side.

On the US side, we are required to go through something called the PAIR process.  I'm sure I've mentioned it several times before.  It's basically the US government evaluating all the paperwork, conducting an interview of either a birth parent or the person who found an orphaned child, and granting a PAIR letter to move forward with the adoption.  Since this process is new as of September, many people have experienced bumps along the way with average time frame of 4-5 months to be completed.  We have experienced 10 foot deep potholes and mountains trying to get through this.  It seems like if something could go wrong, it does.

For example, when our paperwork was supposedly ready to be sent from the US office to the Embassy in Ethiopia (they scan it in the computer, so it's fairly quick), I was told it was being sent on a Thursday.  Come to find out, the employee who told me that left the office permanently on the following day and left our paperwork in a pile, waiting for the  next person.  It sat there for almost two weeks before we figured out where it was.  Then, once we found it and had a new officer assigned, she informed us that we were missing a document.  The previous employee had made a mistake.  So, for a simple task of our paperwork being sent to the Embassy, (15 minute job) it took almost three weeks.

We are almost to six months now, with no PAIR letter, and waiting for an interview to be scheduled.

Things like this have continued to happen over and over again and it's almost driving me crazy.

On the Ethiopian side, apparently our agency is having to re-do most of our paper work in order to have it meet a certain requirement for the Regional Head.  She still refuses to sign for our kids, even though we really do have everything thoroughly documented and turned in.  This KILLS me. Our kids have been in an orphanage for over a year of their life now and will continue to be probably for a total of at least 18 months, because of one signature.

One signature.  It's ridiculous.

At this point, we have no idea of when PAIR will be completed.  We have no idea of when the documents will be updated and ready and we have no idea of when/if this regional head will ever actually sign the paperwork for our kids.  There is an overwhelming uncertainty as we think about, pray for, and love two little faces across the world.

As I've said probably in every other post, the only thing that encourages us and keeps us hopeful is our trust in God.  We know he has a plan for our family.  It makes ZERO sense to us, but we know he is faithful and we believe he comforts the hearts of our kids in Ethiopia.  

We would appreciate prayers and we continue this process.  We've given up praying on specifics because specifically, almost every aspect needs prayer.  At this point, we are just praying for a miracle.

Not What We Expected

I usually love the last day of the year - it's enjoyable to look back and reflect on what's happened over the last 365 days and anticipate what the New Year might bring.  But this year is different for me.  My heart is heavy and weighed down by still not knowing about our kids.

This past week there have been rumors going around about Ethiopia closing adoptions.  Although after a couple of days and clarification, it seems like that's not the case for the immediate future, it still brings such uncertainty to the entire process.  As you can imagine, hearing things like this is devastating - waiting all this time to grow our family through adoption only to find out that it could possibly be over at any minute.  It was an extremely unsettling, nerve wracking, anxiety-filled few days.  (And I thought waiting for a referral was difficult.  Waiting to find out if a referral might even happen is 50 times worse.)

Additionally, as I've said before, we never dreamed it would take this long.  It's been a painful journey of trying to be patient and wait for God's timing, when we've felt ready for 1 1/2 years now.  Originally, we hoped to be home with our kids by now or packing for our second trip to bring them home.  Being at the end of 2013 and still waiting was not what we anticipated. 

We do have a lot to be thankful for . . . and I'm not forgetting all those things.  I am truly grateful for a multitude of God's blessings in our lives.   I just feel like my heart is so overwhelmingly weary and aching to know our children.

Please continue to pray for all those children who need families and for us as we continue to wait for ours.  

In The Waiting

We are now number 3 on our waiting list.  Yahooo for moving up one spot!!!  At this point, to be honest though, the list doesn't matter to me anymore.  We have been on it longer than I had anticipated  and I am now just anxiously awaiting the phone call that will change our lives forever!

We pray everyday for our new family members and people ask me daily if there is any new 'news'.  There is no news but I will tell you what. . . God has been teaching me MANY lessons throughout this process and our family has seriously been blessed by others:  Friends have given me cards of encouragement, texts, emails and Facebook posts that they are praying for us.  One of my besties put together a prayer calendar for October where she recruited a handful of our local friends to pray for us every day in October.  (So I had a calendar that listed who was praying for us each and every day..... is that not amazing!?)  Friends and family members have sent me Scripture, quotes and devotionals with uplifting words.  Over time, our hearts and the hearts of our family and friends have grown tender towards these children we still don't know.

The most recent (blessing) came earlier this week from our aunt (technically Ryan's aunt but she's been my aunt now for 15 years too :) ).  It's from the online devotional "Shereadstruth".  (Please click here to read the entire post - it's encouraging, especially if you are in a season of waiting).

"The waiting isn't the hardest part, it's the growing part.  And the Gardener can't be rushed in this season.  He won't be rushed in this season. . . While we are waiting, we are changing - He's changing us in the waiting."

Everything within me screams, "I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE!!"  I'm tired of waiting.  My heart and mind are weary from waiting.   It's difficult to anticipate something so huge and life changing that doesn't have an end date.  Every day goes by and we yearn to learn about these little people who will be grafted into our family. . . our future children.

However, I know God has a greater plan.  I for sure don't understand all of it, but I believe and trust Him that He knows what He's doing.  This waiting has forced me to lean into Him in new ways and depend on him in my moments of weakness.  It has been a messy journey - just ask all of my friends and family who have been so patient with me as I fail regularly. . . sometimes daily, at trusting in His plan.

I want to know.
I don't want to wait.
I complain.
I cry out, "When?!"

Thankfully, even through my consistent human failings and weakness, I'm astounded by His love, patience and gentle teaching and leading me - guiding me in new ways to depend on Him and trust Him in all things.  As I seek Him more, His presence and love for me has become more tangible.  

I'm not saying I want to continue to wait (a phone call would be super awesome, any day :) ) but I have realized that if we hadn't journeyed through these months of waiting, I would not have experienced all the blessings of encouragement, support and love from so many people.

For this, I am so grateful.

"Come near to God and he will come near to you."  James 4:8

August Update and First Tri

We are number 5 on our adoption wait list!  We are hoping for some news either this month or in September, but as we've learned, nothing is predictable so we are continuing to wait, wait, and wait some more.

No fancy adoption wait list number display today because I have other fun photos to share: our daughter competing in her first triathlon!!  Her dad has done several and also participated in his age group early this morning.  For her age, it was a 200 meter swim, a 2 mile bike ride and a 1 mile run.  We were so proud of her (and she seemed to have fun doing it)!!!

Getting everything ready in the transition area

Checking out the course

First arms she jumped into

Congrats and hugs from family

A friend who came along to cheer

Simple Amharic

I decided to order a book and CD called Simple Amharic Language for Adoptive Families by Amy Kendall.  It contains hundreds of helpful phrases and words to learn such as "This is your brother", "snack" and "Let's get dressed".

Eager to learn the language of their new (future) siblings, my kids ripped open the package, played the CD and flipped through the book.   What is the natural, first thing that my little darlings chose to memorize?  It's pronounced, LIB-seh lie ah-tish-NAH.

Translated:

"Please don't go potty in your pants."

Hilarious.

(at least it was to a 9 and 11 year old)  :)

June Update (a little late)

As we have moved forward into the heat of summer, our number on the waiting list has stayed the same.  It's a double edged sword, I've learned, as you get near the top: on the positive side, we are in single digits in the top 10.  Since we began at #27 eleven months ago, we have made some progress and #8 feels encouraging.  On the downside though, a month (or a few) can go by with no movement and people waiting for just one child can get referred AFTER us....while we stay at the same number.  (Because we are waiting for two children, our wait has been longer than others.)

I had a friend from church last week, baby son in her arms, stop me to ask if I would photograph her son.  As we were chatting, she said she remembered when she and her husband first announced she was pregnant, Ryan and I also announced we were adopting.

And there she stood, cuddling her adorable, 7 MONTH OLD baby.

And there I stood.  

No little one in my arms.  

No toddler tugging on my dress or crawling around my feet.

She was very empathetic as she talked with me about the difficulty of waiting so long for something.  The reason it is so difficult is because its such an unknown time frame.  Our agency does its best to give us estimates of how long the process takes, but not having an actual end date has been tough.

There is no due date.  

There is no inducing two weeks-later plan either.

It's totally unknown.  

Ever since we began praying about adopting, our hearts have grown to love these family members we don't yet know.  As we prepare our older two for the changes, we discuss and imagine what life will be like everyday with 'the littles'.  Who will take them in the hall if they are crying during church?  Where will they sit at the dinner table?  Who will sit next to whom in the car?  We basically think about them being with us and anticipate their arrival into our family every day.  

Every. Single. Day.

So as you can imagine, praying, dreaming, and longing for these little people and not knowing when they are coming is difficult!!

So as I wait for the God's perfect timing, I am brought to my knees for several requests:

- that God works in my heart to wait patiently and with a grateful heart.  It's easy to feel discouraged, focusing on what we don't yet know.  I want to keep my mind on all of the blessings - they are numerous!!

- that He has a hand of comfort on our little ones.  My heart already breaks for the pain and loss they are experiencing.

- that God gives our family of four precious moments together before we become a family of six

Thanks for listening and thank you even more for praying for our family!

April!

Happy belated Easter! 

Below are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs that depicts the beauty of what Jesus did for us.  It's called 'Alive' and from the perspective of Mary Magdalene.

Who but You,

Could breathe and leave a trail of galaxies

And dream of me?

What kind of Love

Is writing my story until the end

With Mercy's pen?

Only You.

What kind of king

Would chose to wear a crown that bleeds and scars

To win my heart?

What kind of Love

Tells me I'm the reason He can't stay

Inside the grave?

You. Is it You?

Standing here before my eyes

Every part of my heart cries

Alive! Alive!

Look what Mercy's overcome

Death has lost and Love has won

Alive! Alive!

Hallelujah, Risen Lord

The only One I fall before

I am His because He is alive.

Who could speak,

And send the demons back from where they came

With just one Name?

What other heart

Would let itself be broken every time

Until He healed mine?

You. Only You.

Could turn my darkness into dawn

Running right into Your arms

Alive! Alive!

Look what Mercy's overcome

Death has lost and Love has won

Alive! Alive!

Hallelujah, Risen Lord

The only One I fall before

I am His because He is

Emmanuel, the promised King

The baby who made angels sing

Son of Man who walked with us

Healing, breathing in our dust

The author of all history

The answer to all mysteries

The Lamb of God who rolled away

The stone in front of every grave

Alive! Alive!

Look what Mercy's overcome

Death has lost and Love has won

Alive! Alive!

Hallelujah, Risen Lord

The only One I fall before

I am His because He is alive.

Natalie Grant

Nordeman/Herms

Although the weather isn't necessarily cooperating to make us feel like its spring in Michigan, our family is grateful for the new season!  We eagerly anticipate the beauty and newness of spring.  It's also a new month which means new numbers for us!  Happy happy happy to say that we are:

The most frequent question we are asked is, "When will you get a referral?"  To be honest, that's the same question we ask too!!!  Because the adoption world is so unpredictable, we can't tell for sure.  

When we first began the process, we were given an estimate of 9 -12 months.  We were officially on the wait list the last day of July, so we've been waiting 8 months so far.  So, hopefully within the next four months we will finally see the children our hearts have already begun to love!

Happy March! Adoption Update :)

It's March and we are:

As I said last month, on the ACTUAL list we are 15, but we know there is one person on hold above us.  When that family is no longer on hold, I will accept that reality and keep our number as our agency gives it to us.  But for now, we are celebrating 14.

A couple caseworkers from our agency just had a wonderful trip to Ethiopia where they were able to visit many of the orphanages that they work with, as well as play with and love on several of the children.  It was extremely interesting to hear about their trip and made us SO excited to travel there ourselves!!

Thank you for your continued prayers.  If we have any super big moves this month that we are aware of (hoping and praying) I will post an update!

 

February Adoption Update

We know we are still months away but still get excited with movement of the list!!  As of right now, we are:

Technically on the list our agency sends us, we are #17 but there is one family 'on hold' for personal reasons, which puts us at #16.  Whenever this family goes back on the list, I will stop 'skipping' them but for now, it helps my mental stability to be able to count ourselves just one number higher. :)  

We are #3 on list for two children, however, the two families above us have an age range of 0-2 years old.  Since our age range is 0 -3 years old we are #1 if siblings came along and one of them was between the ages of 2-3.  I don't think that's likely and we are planning on several more months of waiting.  However, that's the breakdown of the list and it is possible for it to be sooner!  :)

We will continue to wait, pray and see!!

Already a Blessing

Last month while in one of our local public schools taking photos, I met a man who had adopted his oldest daughter from China several years ago.   My friend who introduced me to this man, explained that I was in the adoption process.  He asked a few questions and commented, "You will be so blessed....adoption is such a blessing."

What struck me about his comment that even though we haven't brought our children home yet, I already feel like we've been tremendously blessed.  As God called our hearts toward adoption, He has drawn us nearer to Him.  As we questioned and wondered about this major change for our family, God challenged us in ways where we learned to solely rely on Him.  We know He alone is in control of our future and we trust Him as we move forward.  As we wait, we trust in Him that His timing is perfect.

Another blessing has been seeing God work in the hearts of our kids.  I have written previously of what KJ wrote in church two days after we mentioned that we were considering adoption.  Several weeks later, my heart almost burst when I found her attempting to translate English into Amharic of how she could tell her future siblings 'I love you'.  

And as we pray for these future siblings every day and night, our kids' view of the world has expanded.  They've truly come to understand that there are kids around the world who don't have enough food...who don't have a warm home...who don't have parents to love and care for them.  My heart was again full to the brim last night when I tucked J into bed and he prayed with gratitude, "God, thank you for letting me have a mom and a dad..."

Finally, during Christmas break, a friend, who I don't see that often, randomly stopped by our home. Her family was enjoying an evening drive looking at Christmas lights  and were in the neighborhood. She didn't stay long - just dropped off a card and gift bag.

I opened the card to find this on the front:

And this written on the back:

"Ryan and Kamarah,

This summer we started stashing loose change in a jar - we had been studying James and thought it would be good to put action w/our words. . . we were wondering who that orphan or widow would be??  We know every little bit helps and hope you can put what's in this jar to good use!  Praying for you all on your adoption journey!"

I then opened the gift bag and found this:

Not only was I moved by their sacrifice of saving all their spare change for an orphan they didn't know, but I was also humbled that the Lord had them praying for our family since this past summer.

In case you aren't familiar with the verse in James (1:27) she was referring to, here it is:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Beyond grateful for the Lord's blessings. . .

January Adoption Update!!

  We are so excited to be moving forward (slow, but still moving!) and are hopeful as we move closer to meeting our children!  

We would love your prayers for us as we anticipate and prepare for these little lives to enter our family.  Please also pray for our kids: that they are protected, comforted and loved, wherever they are and that their hearts are being prepared to meet us as ours are for them.   

Movin' On Up!

We received an update from our agency this week and we are now....

#20

It's a slow progression but at least we are moving!!!  

We would love for you to pray for us as we wait through this process. Here are some specific requests:

*  Patience - pray that we are patient and trust in God's timing as we wait.

*  Protection and safety for our children, wherever they are right now.

*  That God continues to prepare our hearts, including the hearts of KJ and J as our family dynamics  and home life will change in a major way!

Those are just a few requests....I'm sure there will be more to come.  Thank you for your prayers!!

A Quiet Pain. . .

It's been four months now since we've been on the wait list and seven months since we began the formal adoption process.  As the wait goes on, God continues to work a miracle in our hearts.    We imagine these little ones who will be joining our family...wondering if they are born yet...if they are safe....what they are going through.  And love grows inside us for these unknown littles.  By His grace, HE prepares our hearts for them.    

I've felt especially emotional lately, an achy heart, so to speak.  I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly what was going on.   *Teresa, who I met via email when researching agencies, has become a friend and mentor to me (both in homeschooling and adoption).  She explained it beautifully in her blog today, giving words to how it feels to be waiting.  (She's describing how she would walk around a field and pray for her child as they waited during the adoption process.)

"Who would this little one be? A girl, mostly likely. What would she look like? What would her story be? How would our hearts mesh together? Lap after lap I would cry out to God from the secret pain in my heart–the pain of loving and wondering and carrying her unknown heartaches and trouble. My life carried on as usual, but somewhere out there a little one would be hurting… she would become my little one. I had nothing to show for it, just a quiet ever-present pain."

Continuing to pray for His comfort and patience as we wait. . .

*Teresa and her husband planned on adopting one girl, and brought home three year old twins!  If you'd like to check out her blog and their life together, click here.  

Before You Were Mine

As we've moved forward in this adoption process, we have read a variety of books, trying to learn as much as we can about adoption, attachement, bonding, etc.

One of the more recent books I read is called, Before You Were Mine, which is a guide for adoptive parents in creating a Lifebook for their adopted child.  The purpose of this Lifebook is to help document the details and personal story of a child's life before and after adoption.

Even though we don't know our children yet, I am encouraged to have a resource to guide us in the process of documenting their lives in Ethiopia and how they become a part of our family.

I was one of ten women who reviewed the book for Carissa which is on her website, here if you'd like to read it.

Before You Were Mine would be a fantasic gift for someone you know who is adopting or who has adopted!!

November Update!!

Last Thursday was the beginning of a new month which means I was checking my email every 10 minutes to receive the update from our agency of our placement on the waiting list.  :)

We truly believe that God is in control and He knows the timing and placement of our future child(ren), but I'm telling you...knowing where you are on the waiting list is something I think most waiting parents become obsessed with!!  It's the only connection you have of how long until you know something about your future kids!!

All that to say, we did receive an update Thursday and it looks like we are now #22.  It's not moving as fast as we'd like, of course, but again....not our timing....but HIS.  We also know the time it takes to move through an international adoption is long because of the paperwork and precautions taken to insure the best interest of the children.  We wouldn't want it any other way.

To keep ourselves busy, we decided to get passports for J and KJ!!  We are still not positive if they will be joining us for our first trip, but just in case, we want to be ready.  :)

We're Approved!!

Yesterday, the 21st, we received our I-171H in the mail!!  This is the formal document from the US Governement, approving us to adopt.  Yippee!!  Now this week, I have to get the documents sealed and sent off to be authenticated by the Department of State and the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington D.C.  Once that happens, our dossier is off to Ethiopia and we are on the waiting list!!  (This should take a week or two, I'm guessing.  We'll see!!)

This is an exciting milestone - finishing the majority of the paperwork!!  We know that there is a long time of waiting ahead but we are comforted to know that God already has planned the child or children He has for our family!!

A Slight Delay. . .

On Saturday I opened the mailbox, giddy with excitement, when my eyes fell upon a letter from the US Department of Homeland Security!  However, after opening the much anticipated letter, I found that it wasn't our I-171H, but a document explaining that there was a very small detail missing from our packet that we sent.  Knowing our caseworker would know what to do, I scanned it and sent it off to her.  She wrote me back and said, thankfully, she believes it is their error.  She is calling today to work it out so hopefully we will continue to move forward!!!